monobeartheater:

verylittlebird:

a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

what the fuck

(via octatethatshit)

greelin:

cyberuser:

i remember when i was 5 i used to take dancing lessons and there was this kid in 7th grade who’d make fun of me and call me “gay” but the jokes on him because i gave his younger cousin a handjob at camp so who’s gay now

i think you’re still technically gay

(via composerdiva)

fasterfood:

when u hold the door open for someone and they dont say thank you

image

(via ruinedchildhood)

17000dollars:

With 17,000 dollars you could buy about 11258 Cosmo con buttons 

17000dollars:

With 17,000 dollars you could buy about 11258 Cosmo con buttons 

(via immortalhdingleberry)